That Time I Got Kicked Out of a Ball Pit Bar in London | Voyaging Vagabond

Based on the title I never thought I’d be writing a blog post like this, but alas, here we are folks. I always manage to end up in ridiculous situations while traveling. You might remember that time I lost my bra in Budapest. Well, my Thursday night in Shoreditch a week ago certainly makes the list of ridiculous situations. So buckle up, expect to hear some profanity and get a load of this.

When one of my girlfriends suggested we go to a ball pit bar a week before I was in London, there really wasn’t any hesitation. I immediately said yes. I’m a giant kid begrudgingly stuck in an “adult” body. I was ready to go wild in the pit.

So I did. Which was totally fine.

In all honesty, trying to navigate in a giant ball pit is a lot harder than you would expect. It’s pretty intense on your arms, legs, and core. Don’t even get me started how difficult it is to lift yourself back up if you decide to lay down!

But we’re getting away from why you came, and that’s how the heck I managed to get myself kicked out of a freakin’ ball pit bar?!?!

There were two ball pits in this bar. A smaller one in the back and your big, central pit in the middle of the space. Each pit has a security guard to make sure these childlike adults (like myself) behave. When I was walking up to the main central pit I misheard the security guard and thought he asked to see my wristband. Each hour has a different color wristband to make sure you don’t stay over your time limit. I lifted my wrist to show him my wristband to which he responded: “I didn’t ask to see your f**kin wristband.”

Allllllrighty then.

I walked into the ball pit and agreed with my girlfriends that the security guard was a total dick and just wrote it off. People have bad days, guys have egos, whatever, I’m having too much fun to care.

Now I know you’re hoping that I went into full-blown Godzilla mode in the ball pit and that’s why I got kicked out. I WISH THAT WERE THE CASE. No, I was respectful in the ball pit. I tried my best to not step on people hidden in the balls (sorry Steph,) didn’t throw the balls too aggressively which is a feat with my heavy hands and played nicely. I just had a ton of fun with my friends. When I went to exit the ball pit, that’s when things got a little dicey.

As I was walking out, someone in the pit accidentally pegged me right in the eye with a ball. Despite it smacking me so hard in the face, I laughed it off and kept walking up the ramp to exit. As I was exiting, with my best polite girl voice I sweetly thanked the (asshole) security guard and gently placed my hand on his arm. He leaned in and said to me, as clear as day, “you f*cking deserved that.” LITERALLY, WHILE MY HAND IS STILL ON HIS ARM!

I was so thrown off by such a rude comment that I didn’t even process it at first. So I just went “OP” and kept walking. 😳

When I told my friends they were pissed, but what were we going to do? I felt like I was being forced to just be quiet after someone was a blatant dick and I wasn’t okay with it. I went to the bathroom and played it over and over in my head and got to a point where I thought,

“Nope, f**k this, this power-tripping guy probably talks poorly to women all the time and nobody says a damn thing so he thinks he can get away with it.”

Que my alter ego that comes out VERY rarely, I think the last time I had a moment like this was at least 7-8 years ago. But when this alter ego comes out she is ratchet, she is a straight-up gangsta and she DGAF. She sticks up for herself and I’m thankful to say the times I need to let her sneak out are scarce. But, she deserved to come out for this one.

So I left the bathroom, gathered my girlfriends, made my way to the door but while doing so I wanted to leave an impression on Mr. Egotistical Ball Pit Security Guard. So as I was passing, I called out,

“HEY!”

Got his attention, threw up my two middle fingers, put on the meanest mug I could muster and while side-stepping my way out said,

“This is for you MOTHA F*CKA.”

Sure I could have expressed my displeasure with a more eloquent sentence but desperate times call for desperate measures. Although, that seemed truer to how I was feeling at the time and I felt like a straight-up badass. If you need a visual you can get an idea from this GIF.

I was already at coat check by the time Mr. power trip came huffing towards me chest out, fire in his eyes. To which I responded,

“Oh you’ve got something else to say?”

“You need to get the f*ck out of here.”

“Yo, why do you think I’m at coat check?”

“Get the f*ck out of here.”

“Listen dude, don’t come over here trying to play like you weren’t being a dick. You’re the one making rude comments and starting shit so get the f*ck out of my face.”

I could literally see the steam coming out of his ears as he ran off to go get a female security guard. All while I’m calmly collecting my belongs in front of this long coat check line (which I just cut,) adjusting my scarf, handing off my friends’ belongings.

The female security guard came up and instantly wanted to hear my side of the story.  I told her I wasn’t being drunk or belligerent and this guy’s comments were straight-up uncalled for. She was repulsed at how rude he was being to female guests and I left feeling like my side was heard. Other girls came up to tell me how ignorant he was to them as my lady squad was walking out.

Frankly,  I didn’t give two regards to the fact that he had a little tantrum which resulted in me getting very publically kicked out of a ball pit bar LOL. I stuck up for myself and sticking up for yourself is important. Too many times females are subjected to insulting comments from the mouths of men and we’re trained to walk forward and accept it. But I’m not one for following those kinds of rules and I’d rather speak up for myself instead.

I implore you, in whichever way you see fit, to do the same exact thing when a situation like this comes your way.

Need a reminder that you are a badass female who is willing to stand up to people who speak illy of you? Pin this!